Sticks and Stones

You are most likely familiar with the statement “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”, this statement may seem helpful on the surface but there are some misleading concepts involved here. Let’s look closely at this statement to see if it is truly accurate or helpful. The first part claims that “sticks and stones may break my bones”; let’s think on that for just a moment, better yet you can prove this statement out for yourself. Go outside and walk by some sticks and without touching them see if any of them can actually break your bones. Pick one up and see if just holding it in your hand will accomplish the actual breaking of your bones. Strange isn’t it that the stick has no power of itself to fulfill the bone breaking statement. Now try it with some stones. Find a place were the stones are gathered together closely in one place and walk slowly by them. Do you feel any bones begin to break within you? No? How strange. Try picking one up and hold it in your hand. Is the result the same as the stick? Yes, of course it is. You have now proven that sticks and stones left on there own cannot break your bones.

Now let’s examine the latter part of the statement “words will never hurt me”. This part is a little harder to prove out because it involves being honest about how we feel when words are used for or against us. There is a Proverb that I like to quote when dealing with words, it is Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. This is very powerful when you understand that the words that are spoken and heard stay within us forever. So if someone speaks negative words to you, you will begin to think negative thoughts and those negative thoughts will begin to form negative behavior. If you are honest with yourself you know when an insult hurts you and how it makes you feel. You know that it stays in your mind for quite along while. You know that if you dwell on the insult long enough that it can actually change the way you think of yourself. With that said, we now can see the words can and do hurt us.

We all would like people to say good and righteous things about us, so how do we get them to do that? Keep in mind we cannot change others we can only change ourselves. So we need to begin to speak positive words about ourselves. What? Did I just say that we need to say positive words to ourselves? Yes indeed we do, because as I stated earlier we cannot change anyone else we can only change ourselves. So to clarify that statement we cannot make someone say nice things about us so we need to say nice things about ourselves and maybe, just maybe, as we begin to say good and righteous things about ourselves others may pick up on it.

Ultimately we need to be speaking life giving words to ourselves and then speak those same life giving words to others.

There is a simple phrase that you can start with. I would suggest that you do this in the privacy of your own space. Yes you need to say this out loud. The phrase is: I’m a winner. This is not, I repeat, not designed to make you feel superior to anyone else or to vainly puff you up. It is designed to give you a feeling of confidence and a sense of accomplishment. Now to back up your new found feeling you need to go out and win. One way you can do this is to say to yourself, today I’m going to say hello to one person that I don’t already know. A safe place to do this is in a neighborhood grocery store or a one stop shopping center. Remember all you are doing is saying hello. Once you have said hello to one person congratulations, you are a winner!

There is one more statement that you can make that will help keep you motivated. It is: I feel good, I feel great! The good part of the statement is fairly easy to achieve but the great statement is what you are ultimately striving for.

You must own each of these statements. That is to say that you must accept and believe you are a winner and that you do feel good and that you do feel great. I would suggest that you say these statements out loud to yourself a few times in a row each morning. I’m not suggesting that you chant them or use them in some bizarre ritual. Simply say them out loud, accept them as true statements about yourself, and then go about your day and see what happens.

This is the beginning of your journey into self motivation and happiness. Remember, you are also trying to speak life into others as well.